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Joke of the Day

"So a sloth got robbed by 3 turtles... When the cops asked him what happened the sloth said, It. all. happened. so. fast."

"What do you call an integral that doesn't like derivatives? An anti-derivative."

"What's the difference between magic and black magic? Black magic doesn't work."

"I was furious when I found my wife's profile on a dating website That lying bitch isn't ""fun to be around"""

"Correlation and causation are used together often, so that must mean that the word ""correlation"" must cause people to use the word ""causation"""

"You know that amazing feeling you get after kissing a woman? of course you don't."

"Revenge is a dish whose photos I haven't yet seen on Instagram."

"A lady crashed into a McDonald's here in town. Hey Leno, here's a free one for you: ""Looks like she took 'drive-thru' a bit too literally!"""

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers"

"I was thinking about moving to Moscow But there's no point in Russian to things."