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Joke of the Day

"I used to be addicted to soap... But now I'm clean."

"As much as I disagree with Donald Trumps policies, we agree one one major and vital thing... We would both love to fuck his daughter."

"So the jerk store called and they're running out of HB2!"

"I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."

"What's the problem with a Jewish football team? you're gonna need a new squad as soon as soon as they hit the showers"

"What do Michael Jackson and Walmart have in common? They both have little boys' jeans half off."

"I was gonna make a gay joke but thats intolerant."

"[Dinner with GFs parents] *Does shadow puppet of a bird* ""Thats great but I asked what you do for a living?"" Um *smooths tie* I'm unemployed"

"Just found out Fox News's website has a Science section, which I assume links to a video of Sean Hannity screaming at a biology textbook."

"Don't cha wish ya girlfriend was a clinically depressed cat owning weirdo like me"