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Joke of the Day

"Why is the Democratic electoral landscape like a Moebius strip? Cause no matter what you do, there always seems to be a Clinton claiming to be ""on your side"" . . ."

"What do you get when you cross a dog with an amplifier? A subwoofer."

"Responsible pet owners pick up their dog's poop. Cool pet owners pick their dogs up from the airport (after their doggy business trips)."

"What baked treat shares its name with a gynaecological apparatus? Flapjacks."

"My dad was walking around the house screaming yesterday.... He kept shouting, ""A, E, I, O, U"". ""What's wrong?"", I asked him. To which he responded, ""Nothing, I just have irritable vowel syndrome..."""

"F*&%. I keep forgetting the Titans"

"I've developed an app for dating children nearby. It's called Kinder."

"Why can't Sean Connery read November? Because he hasn't Read October."

"What is definition of indefinitely? When your balls are touching her ass, you are in-definatlly"

"So I finally decided to read one of Freud's books today... It's been shitting on my self for awhile now."