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Joke of the Day

"So I finally decided to read one of Freud's books today... It's been shitting on my self for awhile now."

"I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair !"

"Jim: Tim, see if the indicator lights are working... Tim: Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no..."

"Take 1/5th the $ car insurance companies spend on advertising, apply it to health care, and everyone can have golden organs and never die."

"He died doing what he loved: telling me I'm overreacting."

"I'd like to know what Obama or Romney propose to do about YouTube buffering."

"At the pharmacy I asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around, looked them straight in the eyes and said, ""Make that 52."""

"As I slowly remove her panties I think to myself God these don't fit me very well"

"I'm not saying I've had a lot to drink, but my foot just fell asleep so I drew dicks on it."

"Why did the smartphone go to jail... [OC] Because it was charged with battery"