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Joke of the Day

"What is definition of indefinitely? When your balls are touching her ass, you are in-definatlly"

"Lets be real here, everyone has laughed at a child falling over in public,at least once, why ? Because its funny."

"Why is a giraffes neck so long? So it can reach its head."

"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less [Grammar Nazi busts in] ""MINE FEWER"" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and an onion? I'd cry if I cut an onion in half."

"Reports are in that Hugo Chjavez has died....hmmmmm Saddam Hussein Osama Bin Ladden Moammar Gadhafi Kim Jong IL Fidel Castro Hugo Chavez Not good times for my Fantasy Dictator League..."

"I'm very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know why."

"yesterday i bought stamps & mailed something just like our ancestors the dinosaurs!"

"Really? Wow! (The only two things I ever say to kids)"

"Why do men get circumcised? Because women GRAB anything 20% off!!"