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Joke of the Day
"Pardon the mess, the dog startled me and I threw my shrimp scampi into the ceiling fan"
Next Joke
"The NFL just got a new official sponsor. V8"
"Socks and sandals are like condoms There is almost no chance of getting a girl pregnant"
"Jehovah's Witness don't celebrate Halloween I guess they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door"
"A Doctor gives his patient the bad news that he only has a week to live... Patient - ""No, I don't accept that! I'd like an alternative fact please"" Doctor - ""Money-wise, you are now set for life"""
"DMX is in jail Because X didn't give it to them."
"Why did the whale like the diver? Because he had flippers!"
"I don't know why a dingo would steal a baby when you can steal cool stuff like rollerblades."
"Record for the world's smallest penis? Must be hard to beat."
"My kids and I are exact opposites. They cry when I walk away, and I cry when they walk towards me."