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Joke of the Day

"Forget waterboarding, just put a cold hand on my belly and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor."

"Why are chorus girls like barge horses? They have to tow the line!"

"There's nothing like shaving off your beard to remind everybody why your face needed a beard"

"Doctor: it's important to incorporate purple foods into your diet. Me: *eats purple cupcakes*"

"Are oranges named orange because they're orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?"

"A Buddhist monk walks up to a Hotdog vender and says ""Make me one with everything"""

"Yosemite Sam would use the N-word."

"Knock Knock? Who is there? Willis. Willis who? Willis d**k fit in your mouth?"

"My roommate and I don't get along. It's because I'm a cat person and she's a bitch."