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Joke of the Day

"If you ever feel bad about your procrastination, Harry had three month to figure out the egg clue and still did it the night before"

"It saddens me that the closest my car will ever get to being a Transformer is when I fold in the side mirrors."

"Did you hear about the campers with explosive diarrhea? That shi* was intense."

"I hate it when all of North America tells me I exaggerate"

"I'm so sick of unexpected character deaths for shock value. This is a terrible pilates video."

"What weighs 2 lbs and is full of shit? Donald Trump's shoes"

"Where did the man with an undecorated yard put his spare change? His Hedge Fund."

"What is small furry and smells like bacon? A hamster."

"Im in a band called ""Missing Cat"" You've probably seen our posters..."

"What is mitosis? Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam."