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Joke of the Day
"I went to a really posh school. In fact it was so posh, the Gym was called James."
Next Joke
"People laughed when I said I wanted to be a professional snooker player. They're not laughing now because it was ages ago."
"How do you throw a party in space? You planet"
"If you're a vegan who ran a marathon & you got your dogs from the shelter.... How do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?"
"""What's the difference between a blow job and a sandwich?"" Me: ""What's the difference between a blow job and a sandwich?"" Her: ""I don't know"" Me: ""Want to come over to my house for lunch?"""
"[1st date] ""My birthday is on April 20th, so 4/20. Isn't that cool? When's yours?"" Oh, umm *sweating* Sextember 69th"
"Did U hear they're remaking 'Dirty Dancing' & Miley Cyrus is gonna play the abortion."
"A black guy and a white guy fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first? Better question would be: Why were they in the tree in the first place?"
"Egypt is one of those rare countries whose ""good old days"" were in 2,000 B.C."
"Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken didn't exist."