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Joke of the Day

"A black guy and a white guy fall from a tree. Who hits the ground first? Better question would be: Why were they in the tree in the first place?"

"How do you defeat your enemies? Chop off their feet."

"There is a method to my madness....and as soon as I figure out what the hell it is, I'm gonna be friggin' unstoppable....."

"What Will Come After Fuller House? Fullest House. Then, Get Out of My House"

"Q: Why don't blind people skydive more often? A: It scares the hell out of their dogs."

"ME: do dogs think we have three mouths because we pick stuff up with our hands? VET: where exactly is your dog ME: he's uh coming later"

"What's Hitler's favorite Pokemon? Nein-Tales."

"""You home?"" -scariest text you can get"

"Hackgate: Patriots hacked Seattle headsets and knew they were going to throw the ball."

"If you are charged with possession of marijuana Is it called joint custody?"