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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend... I told me friend that I found a girlfriend. They laughed at me and told me she was imaginary. Now the joke is on them, turns out that they are also imaginary."

Next Joke
 
"Interesting fact about myself: (1) my penis is not as long as a footlong sub (2) I'm banned from Subway"
"I put a load in the dishwasher She swallowed."
"Whoever said ""Just showing up is half the battle"" (a) didn't understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up."
"Why is my dog better than my girlfriend? I can throw her food on the floor, call her a bitch and she'll still play with my balls."
"Doctor Doctor I keep thinking I'm a vampire. Necks please!"
"What is the difference between Elliot Rodgers and Malaysia Airlines? Malaysia Airlines only has been shot down once."
"Last night I dreamed the oceans were made of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea."
"Why cant russians drive stick? Because they are always Stalin!"
"Facebook has pretty much made it impossible to ever again say, ""I had no idea it was your birthday!"""