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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend... I told me friend that I found a girlfriend. They laughed at me and told me she was imaginary. Now the joke is on them, turns out that they are also imaginary."

"How do you compliment a scarecrow? Tell him he's outstanding in his field!"

"What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.? Call Baltimore, M.D."

"What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend? ""M'laundry."""

"Two fish in a tank.. The one fish looks at the other and says ''How do you drive this thing?''"

"""People should never again say that if they had a time machine, they'd go back & stop Hitler. Because we now know nobody would."" - my kid"

"The little old woman who lived in a shoe... ...wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached."

"According to my textbook, The old Greek currency was called Drachmae but apparently now they use a currency called *whoosh*"

"What type of skiing do Jews prefer? Shlalom"

"I always have a note in my pocket that says ""john did it"" just in case I'm murdered because I don't want him to remarry #truelove #tips"