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Joke of the Day

"Facebook has pretty much made it impossible to ever again say, ""I had no idea it was your birthday!"""

"""Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees? "" Because they're really good at it"

"Doctor, can you have a look at my penis... Doctor: I don't see anything wrong with it? I know it's magnificent isn't it?"

"Trump has just been debriefed about the aliens in area 51 he wants them deported immediately"

"To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket: You can hide, but can't run!"

"I'm developing a fear of German sausages... I fear the wurst!"

"A conversation with my 7 year old brother. ""Look at all of these beautiful horse"" ""Horses"" ""Horse is already plural, isn't it?"" ""You're thinking of elk"" ""Holy mooses, you're right"""

"A frendly reminder! ""You will live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension."" Nikola Tesla"

"cop: [making list of animals that escaped] zookeeper: ""the tigers should be your top priority"" cop: [scribbling out ducks] ""obviously"""

"The only cat like reflex I possess is turning and staring at the wall when you talk to me."