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Joke of the Day

"I'm not gonna make fun of my grandfather's driving skills anymore. Apparently parking zones disease is a real thing."

"What type of car did Yoda eat? A BMW i8"

"Why did the man commit suicide by helium suffocation? He wanted to go out on a high note."

"Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune? She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement."

"If you watch 2016 backwards, it's a heartwarming story of how celebrities can come back to life just by trending on the Internet."

"Why are most runners single? At best they're ASICS."

"What do you call a black priest? Holy Shit"

"It puts the lotion in the basket. Then it calls the wife to make sure it's the right brand so it doesn't get the hose again."

"A dyslexic robber walks into a bank... He says, ""air in the hands mother-stickers, this is a fuck-up!"""

"Sex with my boyfriend is like Ebay's customer support. I keep hearing please wait one more minute, and I just want the whole thing to be over with."