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Joke of the Day

"If you watch 2016 backwards, it's a heartwarming story of how celebrities can come back to life just by trending on the Internet."

"Him: Mm girl, back that ass up. Me: Like on iCloud or something?"

"A woman at Wal-mart said she was better than me. I told her to get off her high scooter."

"yesterday, Judge Thompson issued the longest sentence in the Supreme Court's history, needless to say, it was run-on."

"Why are Ethiopian's teeth so white? Because they never use them"

"Woke up to a beautiful May morning Then we all exchanged gifts and sang carols."

"Why did the Gluteus Maximus feel bullied? He was the butt of many jokes."

"Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy."

"The Queen is so afraid of how the vote will turn out, she put Sam Smith in a boat circling Scotland singing ""Stay With Me"" into a megaphone."

"Young woman... There was a young lady from Exeter, So lovely the men all craned their necks at 'er. But only one was so brave as to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of his sex at 'er."