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Joke of the Day
"[narrating people dancing at a wedding] These humans are using their legs for the first time today"
Next Joke
"Thinking about the first person ever to get drunk. People must have been like, ""COME QUICK! JEREMIAH HAS BEEN STRICKEN WITH AWESOME!"""
"Pot bellied pigs are gateway pigs to cocaine bellied pigs."
"My wife is so moody at Christmas, I blame the festive period."
"I was out when I saw a bIack man running with a TV. ""That looks like mine"" I thought, so I went home and checked but no, mine was still there, polishing my shoes."
"How does a Chinese cat say hello? Mi Hao."
"Does grape jelly go bad or do I just have wine jelly now?"
"*does something weird* *looks around for witnesses* *sees no one* *does something weird, LOUDER*"
"I was quite surprised to learn that there are 47 ways to spell..... Prime Minister Netanyahu."
"I once slept through a burglary. Next thing I knew I was in the back of a police van."