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Joke of the Day

"Ever think about an old friend and wonder what they're doing right now? They're playing on their phone. Everyone is playing on their phone."

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"If George Raft's wife gave birth to twin Gorillas would they be the Apes of Raft?"
"What's the difference between modern-day men and modern-day women? If you give a man a lemon, he'll make lemonade. But if you give a woman a lemon, she'll find some way to accuse it of rape."
"A man and a woman are sitting next to each other... The woman says ""If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffee."" The man says ""If you were my wife, I'd drink it."""
"How does John Lennon get his kids to eat their vegetables? He tells them to ""Give Peas a Chance"""
"You know as long as you keep babies well fed they're usually pretty good... But I like mine with a little BBQ sauce."
"If it was Pink Floyds way... They would have all of us shot!"
"Wish my husband got a check from the NFL for all the refereeing he does from his recliner..."
"What's the last thing you want to hear when blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson"""
"Who do you call to clean up foul language? A cuss-todian!"
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