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Joke of the Day
"I once slept through a burglary. Next thing I knew I was in the back of a police van."
Next Joke
"An angry teenager from a Catholic home began dressing as a monk to mock his parents' faith. When asked by a friend how her son had been, the boy's mother replied, ""Well, he's been-a-dick-teen lately."""
"Whenever two people argue over something, yell out ""OBJECTION"" and then contradict the one wearing something you don't like."
"Dark comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it."
"I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sat next to a crying baby. Apparently that's not allowed if it's yours."
"I talk like a sailor in front of my kid. He's gonna swear anyway and I want him to be good at it."
"What is a 72? A 69 with 3 people watching."
"How do farmers party? They *turnip* the *beets*. :/"
"What's gray and comes in quarts? Elephants"
"What do you call a terrorist who's always late? 9/12"