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Joke of the Day

"new job in call center I got a new job with the local suicide hotline. I tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it."

"Michael Jackson, Ted Kennedy, and Osama bin Laden walk into a bar... you fill in the punch line."

"The US has so many disasters You would almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."

"A man dies in the desert next to a rock. How did he die? The rock is kyptonite and the man is superman."

"McDonald's french fries are not real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect. Tasted fine, too."

"How many liberals does it take to defend America? Nobody knows, they've never tried."

"What do you call a gay vegetarian? A vegetarian."

"I just had to leave the office kitchen because two co-workers were talking about tea bags and I'm 12"

"i said no to the dress & now my familys being held against their will in an undisclosed location theyve already sent me two of my son's toes"

"How did the blind man know Santa was in his house? He felt his presents."