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Joke of the Day

"I just had to leave the office kitchen because two co-workers were talking about tea bags and I'm 12"

"Trump for president! There will be hell toupee"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the lightbulb has to want to change."

"""Alright kids, I just got off the phone. Now, raise your hands if your parents are still alive!"" ""Not so fast, Billy."""

"Watermelons and Catcuses There are two watermelons and two cacti. One cactus says to the other ""Damn look at those melons!"" The Watermelons reply ""Wow they're such pricks."""

"My friend told me ""the first stage is grief"" ""Isn't it denial?"" I replied. ""No, not for me"""

"So, I have a black girlfriend now Burnt the shit out of my hand on the stove..."

"What was Pablo Escobar's favourite pool party game? Narco Polo."

"Did you hear about the casting for the new Batman movie? People have really Ben Affleckted by it."

"Yo dawg...pass me my 9mm I didn't realize these bolts were metric"