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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between white people and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop its own cultures without having to resort to stealing others."

"Time flies in Italy.... ...Everywhere you look, another Dago's by....."

"Unlike most English people my girlfriend doesn't have bad teeth. She sold them."

"Today is Short Girl Appreciation Day... (NSFW) and I don't get it. I appreciate short girls every day; sometimes twice!"

"What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and.... ....I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore."

"I try to be a good sport, but sometimes I'm badminton."

"What do you call an airplane that has sex with both men and women? A biplane."

"*first astronaut lands on Mars* NASA: How does it feel son? Astronaut: Feels pretty good to be 33 million miles away from Dave Matthews Band"

"Leaving a chunky sneeze on my shower wall to test my cleaning lady. I fear I am a terrible king."

"I hope zombies will come from Mexico. After eating their way through fat Americans, they'll be like ""Sorry little Canadians. We're full."""