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Joke of the Day

"[at my grandmas house] MY GRANDMA (not the grandma whose house we're at but my other grandma): (to my grandma whose house we are at) hey"

"Trump walks up to the mexican border and takes out his guitar. Anyway here's wonderwall."

"Why don't seagulls fly over bays? because then they'd be called bagels!"

"For all you non-native English speakers out there... ""Read"" is pronounced like ""lead"", while ""read"" is pronounced like ""lead""."

"Ever hear about that guy who sued the door factory? It was an open and shut case."

"How did the mathematician get rid of his constipation? He worked it out with a pencil."

"My son called me 'Marc' I said ""That's a little presumptuous. Call me Dad"" He replied ""Now who's being presumptuous?"""

"What's the difference between parsley.... and pussy? Nobody eats parsley anymore."

"What I admire about England I'm a Malaysian man,and I went to England for my 2 weeks vacation.What surprise me,the kid in England,5-7 years old,already know how to speak English"

"What do you call Apple's next beauty product? The iLiner."