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Joke of the Day

"My son called me 'Marc' I said ""That's a little presumptuous. Call me Dad"" He replied ""Now who's being presumptuous?"""

"so embarrassing when u think u nailed the big interview and it turns out he was interviewing the guy behind u the whole time"

"While making small talk with my wife's doctor I asked him what he does for a living because I am amazing at human interaction."

"""That's so raven."" - bird watcher"

"Definition of 1ply toilet paper. Finding your inner self."

"I know that a lot of people resent white rappers for that reason I use a tasteful floral pattern for my all my gifts."

"Knock Knock... Come in. I don't know if it fits here but it's a great way to stop a knock knock joke."

"Parents who are afraid that giving teenagers condoms will just ensure they have sex to use them have obviously never owned a bread maker."

"Everytime I hold someone's baby, I whisper ""You aint shit"" into their ear. Just to bring their huge baby-ego back down to Earth."

"How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's an obscure number, you wouldn't know it."