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Joke of the Day

"All about a Girl and you...! If girl is with you - Restaurant Bill If girl is far from you - Mobile bill If girl is separated from you - Than Bar Bill. Moral - No Girl - No Bills!"

"Lmao ""bikes"". Basically a shitty motorcycle that you propel with your own legs. What is this, the flintstones?"

"I'm going on a seafood diet for the holidays... that is, I see food and I eat it."

"Together, I can beat schizophrenia."

"2 for the price of 1 Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the idiot's house Knock Knock <Who's there?> It's the Chicken"

"Great. My wife is on her exclamation mark."

"Be that Shopping Cart with the bad wheel. Go in your own direction no matter how hard someone try's to push you in theirs."

"A woman in New York is suing a Manhattan salon for $1.5 million over a bad haircut. The last time I saw a disaster like that with clippers was Donald Sterling."

"We should get the Amazon Echo on Reddit It would feel at home in this echo chamber"

"If you call someone from Alaska an Alaskan, someone from Texas a Texan, and Iowa an Iowan; what do you call someone from Utah? A Mormon"