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Joke of the Day

"2 for the price of 1 Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the idiot's house Knock Knock <Who's there?> It's the Chicken"

"Im not sexist... Because thats wrong and being wrong is for women"

"Why can't you trust atoms? Because they make everything up."

"Why does the court never make mistakes about rape? Because it's always black on white."

"Just took a huge Nicolas Cage movie."

"THERE ARE 7 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. WHY WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH KITCHENWARE? Oh, that's not what pansexual means. Carry on then."

"I saw an Apple store get robbed. I was an iWitness"

"I bet at least ONE of Leonardo DiCaprio's friends has called him Leotard. Probably Mark Wahlberg..."

"*crawls into bed naked* *grabs a book* *sips wine* This is nice. I wonder whose house this is."

"KANYE: I made Taylor Swift famous TRUMP: We should ban all Muslims KANYE: BILL COSBY INNOCENT TRUMP: THE POPE SUCKS KANYE: damn ur good"