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Joke of the Day

"A woman in New York is suing a Manhattan salon for $1.5 million over a bad haircut. The last time I saw a disaster like that with clippers was Donald Sterling."

"What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef? **FILET MIGNON!**"

"Why can't Z generationers swim? Their phones would get wet."

"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? Because the P is silent."

"Career day: Hi kids I'm Bills Dad and I work at the local morgue. Who wants to pet a dead body?"""

"How many Alzheimer victims does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side"

"[Self-Checkout] ME: also I ate a donut in the store MACHINE: Place the item on the belt ME: I can't because I ate it MACHINE: Place the"

"My friend told me the other day that every time he buys his girlfriend shoes he gets a blow job. Turns out he's head over heels."

"How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares."

"Why do they only put expiration DATES on food? It'd be fun as hell if they gave us the exact time too. ""We got 8 minutes to eat this ham!!!"""