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Joke of the Day

"How to parallel park: 1) Park somewhere else."

"The groom was furious and told me I was a terrible best man. I was speechless."

"Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the dirt, then cross back over? Because he's a dirty double crosser."

"Turtle + Porcupine = Slowpoke"

"It's so obvious that she wants me. She avoids me at all costs probably because her feelings are so strong for me. Yeah, I'll go with that."

"The Wall Street protesters are right... There is no Jobs."

"I go to the gym so infrequently that I still call it the James."

"Everyone knows someone in real life that actually resembles a garden gnome."

"Why is ""Z"" afraid of all of the other letters? Because they're Not-Z's (*Nazis*)"

"Bob Ross went to hell... ...to beat the devil out of it ;) P.S. Just finished watching some episodes. I miss him so much ;( Paint in peace my friend...and God bless ;)"