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Joke of the Day

"Why ""Trojan"" condoms? Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out? Less than stellar marketing."

"It would be really nice if everything was coffee."

"Why did Edward miss his flight out of Russia? Because he was Snowden."

"My girlfriend just walked in and called me gay... If my nails weren't drying I swear to god..."

"Scientists have shown that putting the phrase ""Scientists have shown"" in front of anything will make people read it."

"I don't like dodecahedrons They are too edgy for me."

"SNL contacted me about being a writer, and I was like ""Pfft. I got my own gig"" and they were like ""BEEP BEEP BEEP"" because my alarm went off"

"The average speed of ejaculation is 28 mph. Which, unfortunately, makes it illegal to ejaculate in a school zone when children are present."

"The reason Microsofts new browser is code named Spartan, is because they know it's gonna kick people all the time."

"Poeple dont read the user manual to know how to do it. But to see where they fucked up."