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Joke of the Day

"The average speed of ejaculation is 28 mph. Which, unfortunately, makes it illegal to ejaculate in a school zone when children are present."

"I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together Riveting"

"My doctor said I can't lift more than ten pounds... Can you help me pee?"

"Why don't chickens wear underwear? Their peckers are on their face!"

"NSFW: Why do women wear panties with flowers on them? In the loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there."

"U can give out anything on Halloween it doesn't have to be candy last year I gave a kid my cable bill it was awesome he paid it & everything"

"What did Hillary Clinton say when she got to the restaurant? ""Can I have a private server?"""

"DOCTOR: Don't be embarrassed. Taking trousers off is normal for a prostate exam. ME: Err yeah I guess. Should I take mine off too?"

"Jesus fed 5000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish. I can't even satisfy myself with a family sized lasagne"

"Rick Astley is such a nice guy. He'll let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection except for one. He's never gonna give you Up."