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Joke of the Day
"How is 2+2=5 like your left foot? It's not right."
Next Joke
"In 1975 Bill Gates was out on a date... ...and he asked his female companion what he should name his new company. She replied that he should name it after his penis."
"(Starbucks drive thru) Me: I'd like to pay-it-forward for the car behind me. Barista: That will be $30 Me: How much for the car behind him?"
"HUMMING BEES Q: Why do bees hum? A: They don't know the words."
"What is a rocket's favorite meal? Launch! Another one from my 9 year old."
"*weighs self* ""Shit"" *takes clothes off* ""GODDAMMIT"" *takes tampon out*"
"Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? I would too if my name was NUYHAIMONBARG"
"What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a dachshund? A hot diggity dog."
"I consider myself somewhat of a pussy magnet... ...I just need to learn how to change the polarity."
"Did you hear they are combining the MENSA convention and the pride parade next year? Scientists predict a homogeneous mixture of attendees"