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Joke of the Day

"In 1975 Bill Gates was out on a date... ...and he asked his female companion what he should name his new company. She replied that he should name it after his penis."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire :)"

"I was trying to work out which of the Thai girls at a bar was actually a girl, and got it embarrassingly wrong... ...I felt such a dick."

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please don't let Kevin Bacon die."

"So I asked my North Korean friend how's life there He said he can't complain"

"*prepares to cook vegetarian chili* *spills the beans* Whoa, I suppose you could call that.. *lowers shades with a spatula*.. Kidney failure"

"A black father asks his son how his exam went But the visiting hours finished before he could answer."

"There's a very thin line between having your foot out of the covers enough to stay cool but not enough so it gets eaten by monsters."

"Did the depressed rope maker succeed? Sadly, he did knot."

"I just want a woman that will look out for me while I'm shaking the vending machine"