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Joke of the Day

"My father just texted that he's been kicked off the roof of a Cleveland casino for grilling hotdogs, if you ever wondered why I am this way."

"Aw, I would love to keep up with the Kardashians. But being a 'pregnant-solar-powered-douche-magnet' is an art form I haven't yet perfected."

"It's not fair for people to keep comparing Trump to Hitler. Hitler was a decorated war hero and qualified leader."

"Why do bees have sticky hair? They use honeycombs."

"I called the bookstore and asked if they had any books about constipation. She told me it hasn't come out yet"

"What do you call a residential area for horse lovers? A neighbourhood."

"What's hard and pink? A pig with a flick knife."

"It would be so much more ""festive"" if UPS and FEDEX guys dressed as Santa while delivering packages during the holiday season"

"""Operator, run this licence plate please Echo Alpha Tango Alpha Delta India Charlie Kilo"" - Me, if I was a cop on the day I got fired."

"Reddit's front page has more intellectual news stories than my local TV stations I don't understand it because I'm only 3 years old."