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Joke of the Day
"Your eyes are like the stars Not because their beautiful, but because their so far apart"
Next Joke
"*6 opens piggy bank* Me: wtf where'd you get all that? 6: mommy said I could take $1 out of your wallet each day bc you'd never know"
"What do you call a Nazi who survived the war? A veterinarian"
"A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. ""Och, I look like a pig!"" The man nods, ""And you dropped tomato sauce on your top."""
"To whoever stole my thesaurus... To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person."
"I think your first love holds the biggest piece of your heart because they made the first cut."
"I thought the big NYC ball was mechanically operated but I guess not. I heard Mariah Carey dropped it last night during her performance."
"There is a 88% chance my chalk outline will be holding a piece of cheese."
"My neighbor called my dog fat the other day. Took me two hours to convince my dog that he just had thick fur."
"In an elevator with my geology professor and my ex-geology professor. Can you say ROCKward?"