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Joke of the Day

"There is a 88% chance my chalk outline will be holding a piece of cheese."

"I think a lot of these women are just getting pregnant for the subway seats"

"Why don't black cops shoot unarmed white kids? Because they'd get in trouble."

"What do Donald Trump and Pokemon have in common? The only thing they can say are their name and random bullsh**."

"I tried to join the local hide and seek club today But I couldn't find them"

"1: Twas the night before xmas, & all thru the house Dad was trashed on Grey Goose, mom spilled merlot on her blouse"

"I only hate two kinds of people. The racist people and those fucking mexicans"

"They should make a Bollywood movie about a poor Punjabi guy that wins a singing contest against all odds. It'd be called Singh: A Song"

"So there were a lot of celebrities at the DNC including Alicia Keys and Katy Perry. Hillary was excited because they are on her iPod. Bill was excited because they were on his to-do list."

"The most feared killer whales are the ones that have done time in Seaworld."