181950

Joke of the Day

"While in prison, I asked the Calvinist, ""Why did you kill your family?"" He answered, ""I had to know."""

"Can I favorite people's favorites of me? Looking for more affirmation."

"Mistakenly used yahoo for searching instead of google. It's like someone used google two days ago & is trying to remember the results."

"Guys, I'm officially having sex tonight so please don't disturb me between 9.30 and 9.31"

"What does an excited Japanese horse say? Oshio des neighhhhh"

"My Grandmother always leaves long voicemails. Its 5 minutes of her talking and 10 minutes of her trying to hang up the phone."

"Two parrots were sitting on a perch One says to the other, ""Something smells a bit fishy!"""

"Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated."

"Some people call me anti social But i just ignore them and go back to my computer in my room amd lock my door.. .... (Bad jokes 101)"

"They say that when you put your ear next to a vagina... You can actually *smell* the ocean!"