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Joke of the Day

"Can I favorite people's favorites of me? Looking for more affirmation."

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"Where do fortune tellers buy their clothes? Sears."
"Which whiskey should you buy if you want to dance all night? Wild Twerky!"
"How much does a dragon weigh? Wonton"
"U2 just announced a world tour. Are they going tosell tickets, or just break into my living room and start playing?"
"I'm a bisexual who just broke up and is now single. I guess you could say I'm on standbi."
"Wanted to tweet ""I'm hella tired"" but my phone keeps autocorrecting ""hella"" to ""REALLY? HELLA? YOU ARE A GROWN-ASS LADY, KNOCK IT OFF."""
"What is it like to be a woman in comedy? I would say it's 1% jokes & 99% answering this question."
"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot, you racist..."
"Based on how many times I've dropped my phone, I'm gonna hold off on the whole baby thing."