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Joke of the Day

"Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated."

"Is it really 2016? I mean Tarzan is playing in theaters, Pokemon is a craze, and a Clinton is running for President of the United States."

"I don't understand why gyms have mirrors. I know what I look like. That's why I'm here."

"Why are bodybuilders the best the best partners? Because with them it always works out."

"*starts petting a random dog in the park when I see my ex dog walking past*"

"Why don't black people get on cruises anymore? They aren't falling for that one again."

"I just took a Baking Class The final was a piece of cake."

"A man goes to a job interview... Interviewer: ""What's your greatest weakness?"" Man: ""Probably my honesty."" Interviewer: ""I don't think that's a weakness."" Man: ""I don't give a fuck what you think."""

"I just punched what I thought was a paparazzi with a long lens. It was an old man with a wheat bread sub. Sorry."

"Why does the mushroom have a lot of friends? He's a fungi"