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Joke of the Day

"A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it"

"Worst things about mid 40's: 1. Catching a view of yourself naked in the mirror. 2. Crying too hard to complete this list."

"You know what gives me the shits? The digestive system"

"Hear about the malaysia airlines pizza delivery order? Two large planes."

"My dad always said, ""I before E expect after C"". Society taught me otherwise."

"[pulls away from kissing] do you ever pretend nfl players with dreadlocks swinging around under their helmets are predators"

"Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario: Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely."

"What's Gordon Ramsey's favorite movie? ITS FUCKING [removed]"

"Why did Hitler always win at limbo? Because no one else could stoop any lower."

"I'm gonna make a photo editing type program that makes you look like a Hobbit and call it Frodoshop."