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Joke of the Day

"What's Gordon Ramsey's favorite movie? ITS FUCKING [removed]"

"Men will brag that there are women waiting by the phone at this very moment for their call. Who are these women? Women working at 900 numbers."

"""David you're late again!"" ""Sorry boss.."" [cut to: me running on all fours through a forest chasing deer] ""...traffic"""

"My friend just joined a Reggae band, he plays the triangle. He says it's pretty easy, all he has to do is... Sit at the back and ting."

"What's the difference between my penis and the Three Stooges? Women don't point and laugh at the Three Stooges."

"[Pours goldfish into aquarium] You're free now ""Mom? You know those are just crackers, right?"""

"what do you call a communist in a hurry? A soviet rushin! (wackady shmackady doo)"

"Bartender asks a returning guest... You come in everyday for the past 10 years paying for the same drink with 4 quarters. Why? The guest responds with, ""I don't like change!"""

"I took my kids to the aquarium. ""If you get really close to the glass maybe the whale will talk to you!"" I suggested to my son. ""Grow up,"" said the woman behind the ticket booth."

"I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!"