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Joke of the Day

"Watching my mom use an iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try and contact her dead grandma on a Ouija board."

"Day 1: Brad wears no pants Day 2: Brad wears no pants Day 3: Brad wears no pants ... ... This is just a bottomless Pitt"

"I think we should hear adeles boyfriends songs before we pick sides."

"I tried giving up erections for lent... but it got pretty hard."

"The difference between a rooster and a lawyer? When the rooster wakes, his primal urge is to cluck defiance."

"Who needs Black Friday... when you have Mike Brown Monday?"

"Helen Keller walks into a bar... Then she walks into a table. Then she walks into a chair."

"People tell you to make yourself at home but then look confused when you drink their liquor and take a nap in the kitchen"

"I bet the guy who invented the percent symbol, %, got his inspiration from watching his wife put on a seatbelt"

"Little girl: ""Grandma, make a noise like a frog."" Grandma: ""Why?"" Little girl: ""Cause daddy says we'll make a lot of money when you croak."""