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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the rock make it to work today? He was stoned"

"Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket."

"""Can I shit here?"" ---- Sean Connery trying to make friends at the park but making enemies inshtead."

"me: when I was your age there was a band called Hoobastank grandson: his mind is clearly degraded. that cannot be true. the old man is dying"

"Female Masturbation My woman told me that she would never play with her self when she was on her period. . But I caught her red handed !!"

"I'm always terrified when someone knocks on the door while I'm home alone as if murderers and burglars knock first"

"Coining a new term. I hereby decree that from henceforth all comparisons made between two things for comedy shall be known as... ***a yuxtoposition.***"

"I read ""Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"" in 4 hours yesterday. I know it's only 6 words, but I was still impressed with myself."

"A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese spend the evening drinking in a bar. Who picks up the tab? The German."

"Why can't a blonde dial 911? Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven."