117917

Joke of the Day

"Inflation: Being broke with a lot of money in your pocket."

"""In case of emergency break glass"" Who do you think I am? Some sort of karate expert? I can't even open a Cheetos bag."

"I'm bored Think I will go to the mall, find a great parking spot and sit in my car with my reverse lights on."

"A Jew wakes up with morning wood and runs right into a wall. What does he say? Ouch, my nose!"

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can finish a race"

"I think I'm done clapping for stuff. It's enough already."

"Dad asks me have you heard of the new movie constipation? I was all like what, no. And he said, It never came out."

"Expecting an idiot to admit they're wrong feels a lot like trying to put socks on an octopus."

"The KKK was started by some dork who wanted to wear robes and call himself a wizard and his dad was like ""Ok but only if you're racist too."""

"How do you keep an AssHole in suspense?"