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Joke of the Day

"A Greek, an Irishman and a Portuguese spend the evening drinking in a bar. Who picks up the tab? The German."

"to my friend who was cooking steaks for the first time: you can either make steaks or mis-steaks."

"her: what's your sign? im a cancer me [never heard of astrology before]: im a aids"

"Autocorrect changed ""you're so wise"" to ""you're so wide"", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home."

"How do you know which potato is a prostitute? It's the one that says, ""Idaho."""

"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet."

"I used to date a baker... But she was too kneady."

"I'm not very good at baking... my friend said to stick with it dough, it'll pan out in the end."

"Woman and her Cat What did the woman do when a lemon tree fell her cat? Nothing, she just stood there with a sour puss"

"I love telling jokes... But I always punch up the fuck line. Shit!"