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Joke of the Day

"me: when I was your age there was a band called Hoobastank grandson: his mind is clearly degraded. that cannot be true. the old man is dying"

"I've wasted the best years of my life waiting for people to join conference calls."

"Knock knock Who's there? Dexter Dexter, who? Dexter halls with boughs holly!"

"Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt."

"Scissors [to Rock]: So you beat me & I beat Paper but how does Paper beat you? [cut to Paper meeting a hitman] Make it look like an accident"

"What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes."

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting this joke to be in base 3"

"When she found out he worked in technical support, it really turned her on. Then he turned her off. Then he turned her on again."

"Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton? He sat under the durian tree."

"[being murdered] Me: did you get that knife out of the dishwasher Murderer: ...yes Me: and you didnt empty it Murderer: [murder roles reverse]"