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Joke of the Day

"Why do the Lannisters have such a big bed? They pushed two twins together and made a king."

"What does the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two and now it's offensive to talk about."

"I submitted ten puns to a pun contest to see which one would win.. No pun in ten did."

"Can't afford a cat? Duct tape 3 squirrels together, next question"

"My old physics professor: Times flies when you're having fun, Or as frogs say, times fun when you're having flies... That was a long semester"

"My girlfriend surprised me with a car! It's a good thing she missed me."

"A homeless guy jumps on your back... Do you carry him around or beat him off?"

"Imagine being in space and floating past all the planets. You could probably go kart on Saturn's rings."

"Whats the difference between toast and Frenchmen? You can make soldiers out of toast."

"I have a feeling that Scalia was sad that he was going to be alone on Valentine's Day... ...and it broke his heart..."