16177

Joke of the Day

"Imagine being in space and floating past all the planets. You could probably go kart on Saturn's rings."

"how do you know when you are in love? When she taps you on the ass and says ""Its in *Love*"" **Taxi**"

"How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg"

"With trump being a potential candidate I feel like the Simpsons are sitting on their couch watching an episode of us"

"[on first date] Yes I'll have the- *whispers to waiter* I don't speak French *points at menu* ""The French toast, sir?"" Yeah. 6 of those."

"I consider myself a hopeless romantic because I only fall in love with women who are out of my league."

"What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both can be used to carry vegetables...."

"A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. He orders a drink."

"Q: How do you know when a liberal is really dead? A: His heart stops bleeding."

"My daughter said she needs a bag of Skittles for a class project. Starting to get suspicious."