18175
Joke of the Day
"Q: What do you call four matadors in quicksand? A: Quatro sinko."
Next Joke
"What's faster than the speed of light? The speed of *how fast my wife jumps to conclusions*"
"What do you call a black man flying a plane? Pilot. You racist fuck."
"When people ask, ""Don't I know you from somewhere?"", I reply ""Yes, we were best friends as children until you murdered my puppy."""
"GUY: are u doing the mannequin challenge? ME: [standing perfectly still w/ awkward facial expression] no this is just how I am around people"
"A duck waddles into a lake... The geese say 'Hi Dave!' The boss faints."
"What's the difference between a four year old and a baggie of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window."
"9/11 jokes aren't funny. My uncle died on one of the planes. His last words were ALLAHHHU AKBARR!"
"Paper towel ads always show kids making huge messes then mom smiles & cleans it up. My mom would've handed me a mop then beat me with a belt"
"How Do You Kill An Anorexic? Tell Her To Lose Just One More Pound And She'll Be Beautiful."