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Joke of the Day
"What's faster than the speed of light? The speed of *how fast my wife jumps to conclusions*"
Next Joke
"911,What's your emergency? Me: I think it's a heart attack 911: Can you call back when you're sure, we're watching Walking Dead"
"Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor? A: Laughing stock."
"Person: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Me: I understand. *I spend the rest of my life biting the hands of everyone who hasn't fed me*"
"Yo mama so fat.... that when she sits in space-time she causes gravitational waves"
"What's Sad About Lunch in Ethiopia? There is no lunch."
"My wife said she would come back home to me if I promised to give up my obsession with wanking on the staircase. I said, ""Okay, but can we take it one step at a time?"""
"The one good thing about Hurricane Patricia Clean Drinking water falling from the sky for Mexico!!"
"9: Mom! Where's my Spiderman costume? I want to wear it to the science museum ""In your closet, why?"" 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!"
"I went to the barber before I had my SAT yesterday it really helped me clear my head"