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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a four year old and a baggie of cocaine? Eric Clapton wouldn't let a baggie of cocaine fall out the window."

"Claustrophobic people are interesting Because they always try to think outside of the box."

"What do you call a baby Matt Damon? A new-Bourne"

"Lightbulbs in Magaluf What type of lightbulbs go clubbing in Magaluf*? LEDs (*Note for any US viewers Magaluf is a popular destination in Spain for Brits that go on massive drinking/clubbing holidays)"

"(1st day in heaven) Me: Whoa- is that Elvis? Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators"

"Whats the difference between a canoe and a jew? One tips the other doesn't."

"Some parents count to 10 to get their kids to behave. I use a similar technique where I string out crime scene tape and fire up a chainsaw."

"""I maul out of love"" - Bear Supply"

"Words can't describe how beautiful you are But numbers can. 2/10"

"I hate it when the used car salesman is just a car wearing a suit."