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Joke of the Day

"When people ask, ""Don't I know you from somewhere?"", I reply ""Yes, we were best friends as children until you murdered my puppy."""

Next Joke
 
"Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016? Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave."
"When a baby is learning to eat shouldn't he have an L-plate?"
"As soon as I plugged in my laptop, all my files became unreadable. I guess power corrupts."
"Ladies, don't waste your time picking up guys at Chuck E Cheese. Apparently they have a ""family"" & a ""wife"" & I'm ""ruining their dinner."""
"My signature move is texting ""There in 5"" while I'm 80 miles away and embroiled in a Kung Fu Dance battle with an uncouth cattle farmer."
"I asked my dad if I could go to a 50 cent concert... ... He tossed me a dollar and said ""take your brother"""
"It turns out no one likes ""the real me"" and they have asked the priest to reverse my exorcism."
"What does Bruce Lee like to eat before a fight to the death? QUINOOOOAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
"I'm fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes."