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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me I look ""uncool"" with a bike helmet on... Well you know I'd rather look uncool than fall and split my head open during sex."

"Since Canada isn't making the penny anymore-did the price of a thought just go up to a nickel?"

"I think that reddit's lockdown was an entirely democratic process... achieved completely by popular voat"

"Son, what was the name of the german guy that hides my stuff? Alzheimer grampa Alzheimer"

"Hand Sanitizer: Helping us discover paper cuts we never knew we had"

"Why don black people go on cruises? Pssshh, they're not falling for that one again."

"I think I'm allergic to mornings."

"I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out. She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon."

"Did you hear that the Post Office had to recall its series of stamps depicting famous lawyers? People were confused about which side to spit on."

"Why did Jack get a restraining order? Beanstalking."